We're Screwed
by ashyboo02
Summary: The Hangover with a HSM twist. Better explanation/summary inside. Rated M for language mostly.
1. Your Getting What!

**I HAVENT UPDATED ANYTHING IN FOREVER! Okay, so lately I have been obsessed with 'the Hangover', I mean Bradley Cooper is just delicious. Anyway, I decided what the hay! Let's put a twist on it. It also helps that Zac himself loves the movie. I'm going to follow the story line of the hangover, but I'm not trying to copy it, so I might add different scenes, or something. I'm not sure yet. **

**So basically it will be just like the story plot of the Hangover. And here are the characters. I have the character list so you can like see which HSM character will be like the original Hangover character. Did that make sense?**

**If you haven't seen this movie, I recommend it, but make sure you have parental approval. It has a lot of cursing. **

**Phil's character will be Troy. **

**Stu will be Chad.**

**Alan will be Ryan. (he's kind of the outsider who doesn't really fit in.)**

**Doug will be Zeke.**

**Jade will be Taylor.**

**Tracy will be Sharpay.**

**Melissa will be Martha.**

**And Phil's wife Stephanie will of course be Gabriella. **

**I'm adding Jason to the crew. There isn't really a character for him, so he'll just be himself. **

**Those are the main characters, any minor characters will just be made up as I go along. **

**Alright…..so I'm done talking. If you have any questions leave them in a review or private message, and I'll answer it or them as soon as possible. **

* * *

_We're Screwed_

Chapter 1: Your Getting What?

* * *

"Bye Gabriella, I'm going to hang out with the guys at the bar." Troy said as he grabbed his wallet and keys getting ready to run out of the door. "Wait!" Gabriella called as she ran up to her husband of six years. He pecked her lips quickly, "Okay, bye!" he said turning for the door knob. "Troy!"

"Yes, wife?" Troy said turning to look at her, his hand still steady on the knob. "Tell Zeke I said congratulations."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Troy said opening the door and walking out, he stopped just as the door was closing. "What do you mean tell Zeke congratulations. On what?" he said popping his head through the little space of the unclosed door. "He didn't tell you? He and Sharpay are getting married."

"WHAT?"

* * *

Troy honked the horn. "Yo Danforth get your ass out here. NOW!"

Chad looked at his girlfriend, Martha, "I'm going to the bar with the guys. Is that okay?"

"No, its not okay. You couldn't of gave me a weeks notice?"

"I just found out today. Apparently Zeke has some important news to tell us…"

"PAGING DOCTOR FAGGOT! DOCTOR FAGGOT! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!" (this part is from the Hangover, but its too funny to not include. Oh, and if I offended you, I'm terribly sorry.) Chad looked at Melissa then out the window to see a pissed off Troy. "Uhm…" Chad began. "Just leave…Doctor Faggot." Chad nodded as he got up, leaning in to kiss her, when she didn't respond he dropped the gesture all together. "Bye."

* * *

"Really Bolton? Doctor Faggot? Martha was there!" Chad said as they road off to meet Zeke and Jason at the bar. "I don't give a damn about your uptight girlfriend. Why are you with her exactly? She hates your guts."

"She doesn't hate me. She just has an interesting way of expressing her love."

"She hates you."

"Loves me."

"Hates you. I mean didn't she fuck a male maid or something on her cruise last year?"

"He was a bartender. And she was drunk."

"That's even better. She fucked the guy serving her the drinks. Isn't there like a sex tape or something." Troy asked pulling into the bar's parking lot. "Who told you that?" Chad asked abruptly. Troy quickly got out of his car. "I don't know what your talking about." Chad was right at his heels. "You do know! Who told you?" They entered the bar, immediately walking to the end of the bar table where they're friends where waiting. "Fine Chad! Fine. Gabriella told me something about it one night. Okay?"

"What did she tell you?" The two sat down getting greeted with a beer. Troy took a huge swig from the bottle. "I don't know.. She said that she talked to Martha when she came back and…something about a tape. Good sex and something else.. I don't remember much from that night."

"Why?"

"that night she got new lingerie." everyone started to laugh. Troy just shrugged. "One up about being married. Sex when and where you want it. Isn't that right Zeke?" Troy asked as he chugged the remainder of his beer. "Yo bartender, let's get another round over here!" Troy said as Zeke took the center of attention. "What is Troy talking about? Or is he buzzed already?" Chad asked curiously. "Trust I'm not buzzed…yet." Troy said, grabbing the drinks. Zeke looked at him,

"How do you know already?"

"I guess your fiancée told my wife already."

"Whoa what?" Jason asked looking at Zeke. "Guys I'm getting married to Sharpay."

"Your getting what?" Chad and Jason asked in unison. "Haha, yeah. Zeke's joining in on the screwed up piece of shit life that is called being married. Do you not listen to anything I say about being married to Gabriella?"

"No, I listened, I just didn't think about it a lot."

"Being married is like being in prison. Horrible."

"You don't seem to mind so much." Zeke said as he and Troy forgot about the other two guys sitting there and enjoying this heated conversation. "At times, I love my life. But those times include when I'm either having sex with her, or we're hanging out with Bobby together. Other than that. I wish she was still my girlfriend, without the wife title."

"Your still the same. All you care about is sex."

"Of course! I'm a 28 year old man! Look all I'm saying Zeke is that I don't want you or any of you guys at that to have to carry around the title of husband."

"Troy I'm 29, turning 30 next year. I can make my own decisions."

"Whatever Zeke. But when I'm right, I'm not going to even tell you I told you so."

"Danforth! What the hell is this?" Martha asked as she ran up to where they were seated. She was holding up what appeared to be underwear. "Wow, really? Danforth control your bitch." Troy said as he grabbed his beer bottle and walking away. Zeke and Jason following. "Hey Martha…. Zeke and Sharpay are getting married…." Chad said trying to put on a smile. She grabbed him by the ear and pulled him outside. "We have screwed up relationships." Troy said gulping down his beer.

**A/N: yeah, so that was the first chapter. I think I really captured Phil's character and put him into Troy. He's rude, blunt, and just doesn't care. I like it. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it and I know I didn't really give you much, but yeah. Its just the basics. Next chapter you will be introduced to Ryan and the bachelor party will begin. Thanks for reading. **


	2. Vegas Time

**A/N: new chapter! Woot woot. Gracias for the reviews. And by the way, are you into poetry? If so, I think you should show some love by checking out my bestie's poems here on fan fiction. Her penname is ****greengirl0317****. If you do, could you let me know in a review, so I can personally thank you. (:**

_

* * *

_

_ Chapter 2: Vegas Time_

* * *

Zeke looked at Mr. Evans. "Are you serious? You love this mustang with all your heart!"

"Well you see, since in two days you'll be married to my daughter, why not let you hold it? Its just a car."

"I promise Mr. Evans nothing will happen to this car."

"Its Vegas, promises aren't kept. Just don't let Troy drive, I worry about him at times."

"I will definitely be the only one driving."

"Good, oh and while your gone…please keep an eye on Ryan. He's not as grounded as you guys."

"Sure thing Mr. Evans." Zeke said hopping into the driver's seat. Ryan sat in the passengers seat, "I've never been to Vegas before."

"None of us have Ryan. Look, we're going to pick up Jason first remember him? Then after Jason we'll be picking up Troy and then Chad."

"Okay."

"Try not to say anything freaky around Troy. He's the youngest of this group. Plus, marriage has really taken a toll on him. He's not the nice guy you remember."

"Why has marriage taken a toll on him? Aren't him and Gabriella like in serious love or something?"

"Yeah, they are, but that's not something Troy will mention to us. Its not like him to talk about how much he loves his wife. The thing is, he's a father now, well has been for 5 years, and once you have a kid marriage can get pretty boring. He's bored with his life. I think all he needs is this trip to Vegas and he'll be good."

"Oh, okay."

* * *

Troy arrived home from work. Gabriella looked at the clock as he entered their house. "Your home early. I'm guessing your ready for your trip?"

"Yeah, very ready. But Zeke's not picking me up for another two hours. So I think I'm just gonna have a drink and watch some TV or something." he plopped down on the couch, "Can you grab me a cold one babe?"

"Sure." she said as she grabbed and opened a beer for her husband. She walked over sitting down next to him. "Let's talk."

"About?" he took a swig, watching her as she straddled him. "Us."

"Us? Is there something wrong with us?"

"Kind of."

"Well I'm listening."

"I heard you thought our life together was…boring."

"Who told you that?"

"Chad."

"And why were you talking to Chad?" he took another swig.

"He wanted to know about the whole sex tape thing."

"Ahh, I see. Well, its just that…babe, I'm a man."

"Yes you are.." She looked at him, confused by what he meant. Troy sighed, "I have needs, you know that."

"What kind of needs?"

"The sexual kind…"

"Well, Troy, what do you expect? We're parents now. We can't risk exposing our son to sex at such a young age."

"Then lets lock doors, do it when he's asleep, or do it in the shower. I'm tired of having blue balls."

"Blue balls?"

"You know I get aroused by the simple things you do, and when I can't get relief I get a case of blue balls."

"Then why don't you start using your hand to help you?"

"I shouldn't have to masturbate, we've been married for years. And I know sometimes you crave it. So why not tell me or something? You know I'm quick to say yes to sex with you."

"I know…fine. We have time. Why not have some fun right now."

"You do? You really want to?" he took another swig. She nodded her head as she grabbed the bottle from his hand, sitting it down on the table. "I do. After all what kind of wife will I be leaving my husband with a case of blue balls?" she whispered before kissing him deeply. She kissed down his neck, and then down his chest as she unbuttoned his shirt, removing it and throwing it down on the floor. "You're a very naughty wife today." Troy said removing her own shirt and her bra, letting his hands massage her all over. "Good thing our son will be in school for a few more hours." she giggled as Troy picked her up and practically ran them to the room. He tossed her on the bed, removing their clothes. "Very good." he said wasting no time to spice up his love life.

Zeke honked the horn. They watched as Troy practically made out with his wife, making all kinds of hoots and hollers, before Troy started walking towards them. "I know what you all want to say, but don't…. holy shit! Is that the Evans' mustang? Cherry red. Black leather interior. I am in heaven." Troy said getting ready to hop over the door to the back seat of the convertible. "Don't jump across just open the door!" Zeke said frowning because he was too late. "Damn. Your too late. And what's the big deal?"

"I don't want anyone possible scratching the paint or anything. Mr. Evans is trusting me with this car, and I don't want to screw it up."

"Yeah, yeah… hey Ryan. Long time no see." Troy said as he waved to his wife and kid who were currently waving from the window, before the boys zoomed off. "Yeah, I'm sorry, we couldn't hang. I've been busy with show tunes." Zeke gave Ryan a look telling him to shut up but Ryan didn't pay attention. Troy did however. "You know what Zeke, its okay. Nothing can crush the mood I'm in right now." he said grabbing a soda from Jason and putting in the air as if saying cheers.

* * *

"I lied. The only thing that can crush my mood is Chad's bitch of a girlfriend." Troy said as the guys sat in the car hearing the wrath of Martha. "Who's going to knock on the door?" Jason asked as everyone stared at the door. "I'm not." Zeke, Jason, and Ryan all said in unison. Troy looked at them. He took his seatbelt off. "Fuck this shit." he got up, leaning over the seats and honking the horn 5 extremely loud times. "YO DANFORTH! ITS VEGAS TIME!" Troy screamed out. Zeke looked at him, "He told Martha we were going to the Grand Canyon."

"What the…? He had to lie to her about his best friend's bachelor party? Wow, she does own the pants in that relationship."

"He's still not coming out." Jason said getting worried. "Do you think she killed him?" Ryan asked looking at everyone. Troy cursed under his breath. "That's it, I can't take this anymore."

He got out of the car making his way to the door. "He's one brave son of a gun." Ryan said as the other two nodded their heads slowly.

Troy took a deep breath as he started to knock on the door. Martha answered it seconds later. "Just the guy I wanted to see." she said pulling him in, Troy looked back at the guys, who sat there in shock. "What did I do?" Troy asked getting scared now. "Did you just say 'Vegas time'?"

Troy tried not to laugh at what he was going to say next. "No, I said Canyon time. Duh! Maybe you should get your ears checked." he started to laugh, as Chad came out with his bag, walking towards the door and dragging Troy with him. "Bye Martha."

"Call me when you get there. Right away! I am not finished with you yet Bolton!"

"I will!" Chad said closing the door behind them. Troy looked at his friend. "A few things, one I was in the perfect mood when I left my house. And your bitch just screwed it up. Second, the Grand Canyon! Really Chad? Third, she scares the shit out of me!"

"Trust it's the same for me too."

* * *

"It feels good to be in Vegas." Jason said as he and Troy raided the fridge in their villa. "so, what's the plan?" Zeke asked. "Everyone has twenty minutes to get ready, after that, we take Vegas by storm." Troy said looking around. Everyone smiled and went their separate ways.

Troy, Zeke, and Jason entered Chad's room. "Yeah, we just arrived at the hotel. Yeah, we don't visit the actual canyon until early tomorrow. We're really tired." Troy shook his head at his friend. "Yeah, I got to go. We're heading out for dinner…yeah, I know its…yeah, I will. Bye. I will! Bye. Uh, huh…okay, bye Martha!" Chad threw down his cell phone, looking at his friends. "Don't say it." he said, pointing to Jason who was about to make a smart comment. "Where's Ryan?" Chad asked looking for the missing man. "He went to go get something." Zeke said as there was a knock on the bedroom door. It opened seconds later. "I got us some shots."

"Of?" Jason asked as he and everyone else took one of the filled shot glasses.

"Jagermeister."

"I don't know if I can do that." Chad said shaking his head from side to side. "Dude, think college. Just like college." Zeke said before he counted down from three. All five guys took the shot. Troy making it look easy. "WOOH! Who's ready to do some partying?" Troy said walking out of the room with everyone following.

The four made their way to the hotel bar. Getting a few more shots of Jager in their system along with all the drinks they wanted. They then went to the casino to gamble a bit. They had the time of their lives.

* * *

Ryan got up and walked into the bathroom. He started to use it. When he heard something growl. He turned around looking in the eyes of a beast. He immediately ran out, his pants still around his ankles. He didn't see Troy who was sleeping on the floor of the villa's entrance, and tumbled on top of him. Troy woke up from his sleep. "What the fuck! Watch where your going next time, and can you please pull your pants up? I don't want to see your junk." Troy sat up, rubbing his eyes. "THERE'S A LION IN THE BATHROOM!" Ryan spit out, ignoring everything Troy just said. Troy got up, walking towards the restroom. "If I go in here, and your bullshitting me, I am going to strangle you with my bare hands." Troy opened the door. "Holy shit! There's a lion in there!"

**A/N: there goes chapter 2 (: I hope you liked, and the next one will be where the interesting parts begin. Tell me what you think, and give me some ideas if any popped into your head. **


	3. What Happened Last Night?

**A/N: new chapter.**

_Chapter 3 : What Happened Last Night?_

_

* * *

_

In Previous Chapter:

_Ryan got up and walked into the bathroom. He started to use it. When he heard something growl. He turned around looking in the eyes of a beast. He immediately ran out, his pants still around his ankles. He didn't see Troy who was sleeping on the floor of the villa's entrance, and tumbled on top of him. Troy woke up from his sleep. "What the fuck! Watch where your going next time, and can you please pull your pants up? I don't want to see your junk." Troy sat up, rubbing his eyes. "THERE'S A LION IN THE BATHROOM!" Ryan spit out, ignoring everything Troy just said. Troy got up, walking towards the restroom. "If I go in here, and your bullshitting me, I am going to strangle you with my bare hands." Troy opened the door. "Holy shit! There's a lion in there!"_

* * *

"What's going on?" Chad asked as he started towards the bathroom. "I wouldn't…"Ryan started. "Its just a bathr… Why is there two lions in the bathroom?" Troy looked at him. "There's two? Well that explains the blood."

"Guys I can't find Zeke!" Jason blurted as he entered the room, out of breath. "He's probably eating breakfast or something." Troy said leaning against the wall. "No, he's not. He's no where to be found, I checked everywhere." Jason said as he started to panic. "Let's calm down, and think." Troy said lifting his hand up to rub his temple. He stared at his wrist for a second. "Why was I in the hospital last night?" He asked looking at everyone who just stared. "What are you talking about?" Chad asked, he paused. "Guys am I missing a molar?" Troy looked in his friends mouth, stifling a laugh. "Yeah, how'd you do that?"

"I don't know…I can't." there was a sound that sounded like a small child crying. "What…the fuck…is that?" Jason asked as all four guys looked around. "Its coming from the closet." Troy said as he reached to open the door. "What if it's a trap? What if Zeke's trying to scare us. Or worst something freaky is in there and its going to kill us all!" Ryan asked, his eyes getting wide. "Maybe your watching to much TV." Troy said opening the door. He laughed. "Its just a baby." he said picking the baby up and giving it to Ryan. "it's a boy." Ryan said with a smile. "Okay, so we have this baby but we don't have Zeke. Whoa! Chad is that a wedding band?" Troy said pointing to Chad's left ring finger. "That can't be possible. I didn't get married last night…did I?"

"Does anyone remember a thing that happened last night?"

"We took some shots of Jagermeister in Chad's room." Ryan began.

"Then we went to eat dinner at the restaurant." Jason pitched in.

"Then we went to the casino. And after that its all a blur." Chad finished up. "There's got to be some kind of clue." Troy said looking at Chad's new wedding band It appeared to have some sort of engraving. "Chad what does your band say?"

"Uhm… _I got married at Happy Happy Chapel_."

"There we go! So, we can visit the hospital and then this chapel and ask them if they've seen Zeke!" Troy said grabbing his shoes, and bolting out of the hotel room.

* * *

They waited out in the front of the hotel for the valet to get back with their car. "Uhm, Troy, I think now's a good time to tell you that my father doesn't want you driving the car." Ryan said as he rocked the baby. "Your father wouldn't know the difference. And why do you have the baby with you?"

"Well what else are we supposed to do with it? We can't leave Alejandro by himself."

"Alejandro? Really?"

"Yep, after the song by Lady Gaga."

"Here's your car, officers." The valet said as he got out of a police cruiser. "Don't say shit. Just get in." Troy instructed more towards Ryan than the other two. They all piled in. Troy in the drivers seat, Chad in the passenger seat and Ryan, Jason, and 'Alejandro' in the back. "Isn't this illegal?" Jason asked getting worried. "Would you just live a little? I mean relax. And to the unknown, we're in the force. Well at least me and Chad are in the force. You and Ryan plus Alejandro are under custody." Troy said as he pulled into the street. He looked at all the cars in front of him that sat bumper to bumper. "DAMN IT!" he said banging his hands against the steering wheel. He looked over at the sidewalk. A smile coming to his face. He looked on the dashboard, finding the siren and turning it on, as he drove up on the sidewalk. "WHAT THE FUCK TROY?" Chad asked watching people duck and cover. "Are you crazy?" Jason asked from the backseat. Alejandro started to cry. "No, no, ssssh. Ssssh!" Ryan said trying to hush the young child. Troy grabbed the walkie-talkie/intercom, pushing the button. "Attention. Attention. Move. Cops coming through. I repeat please disperse. You sir in the green. Please move. You with the red hair. Yeah you. Get your kid. He's almost ran into me. You ma'am in the zebra print dress. You have an extraordinary rack." the blonde woman smiled at him and he winked as he put the walkie-talkie down, smiling to himself. "Man, forget being a sales manager. I should've been a cop."

"Cops, or married men in general, don't compliment woman on their racks." Jason said giving Troy a look. "Or flirt." Ryan pitched in. "This cop and married man does. I just complimented her on a gift she was oh so very blessed with. A compliment isn't bad. Plus I love my wife. More than anything. Damn sure more than you guys right now."

"Whoa! Did the word love come out of Troy Bolton's mouth?" Chad teased.

"I didn't know that was in your vocabulary." Jason said chuckling. "Ha ha. Very funny. Ha ha. Fuck you." Troy said as he pulled off of the sidewalk. "Guys, I don't want to interrupt your conversation, but I'm afraid Alejandro made a mess."

"Can't you clean it up or something?" Troy asked not looking back. "Uhm…you need diapers and wipes for this mess." Ryan said as Alejandro started crying. "There's a store up here, they should have one of those diaper machine things. Can you handle it on your own?" Troy asked as he pulled into the parking lot. "I think so." Ryan said as he exited with Alejandro.

* * *

"We're about a mile away from the hospital, and one step closer to finding Zeke." Troy said as he looked at the GPS on his cell phone to locate the hospital. "Does anyone else have one of these wrist things?" Troy asked looking at his best friends. "Nope, just you."

"So, let me get this straight." Troy began as he found a small empty notepad and pen, taking notes. "We're missing Zeke. And in his place we have this kid."

"Alejandro." Chad and Jason said in unison. Troy nodded. "Alejandro. And we found out that Ryan's terrified of lions, I was in the hospital, Chad is missing a molar, and he's now a married man. Jase, you have nothing going on?"

"I guess…what's this." Jason asked as he looked at the back seat where a small white thing sat. "That's my molar!"

"Eww! Jase you just touched Chad's tooth!" Troy said laughing. Ryan opened the car door. "To the hospital we go!"

* * *

"Look Dr. Thompson, I don't want to be a nuisance. I really don't. but your leaving me with no choice here, all I want is for you to answer some questions, and then my friends and I will be out of your hair for good." Troy said as he looked into the doctor's eyes. "Fine. Walk with me though."

"Okay, so why was I here in the first place?"

"You came in with a concussion. Nothing to serious. Oh and extremely bruised ribs. We had to bandage you up. And when your blood work came back, and there was some Rohypnol in your system. "

"Rohypnol?"

"Yeah, the street name is roofies. It's a date rape drug. Causes memory loss."

"So are you saying I was raped last night?" Dr. Thompson looked through his files.

"No, no you weren't, but you did have the drug in your system."

"Okay…who was all here with me?"

"The people your with now. Minus the baby and plus some huge beefy guy."

"Did he have black hair and respond to the name of Zeke?" Ryan asked. "Yes he did. Anything else gentleman? I have patients to deal with."

"Yeah, did you over hear us talk about anything?"

"Yeah, you talked about coming from the best wedding ever since some Gabriella chick. And how hot this Taylor chick was."

"Wedding, do you know where Happy Happy Chapel is?" Troy asked trying to get out of this place. "Yeah, its on the corner of 'Get a map' and 'go fuck yourself'. I'm not your damn tour guide. Now if you don't mind I will like to get back to my job." Dr. Thompson walked away. Troy looked at his friends. "Did anyone else want to beat up the doc, or was it just me?"

"I found him very helpful." Ryan said rocking Alejandro. "Let's just go find this chapel." Troy said pulling out his phone and searching for directions.

* * *

"Why didn't we try to call Zeke?" Jason asked as he watched Troy dialing a number. Troy slammed on breaks, making everyone jerk forward and the cars behind them honk their horns in protest. "Wait…you're telling me that you looked all around the hotel, but you didn't bother to call him?"

"Well calling him wasn't on my mind."

"Panicking was on your damn mind!" Troy said as he deleted the number he just typed and typed Zeke's cell phone. "Hello?" an Asian accented voice said. "Your not Zeke!" Troy yelled into the phone. "No. I You."

"Your me? What?"

"No. I You."

"What? Is your name You?"

"Yes, I You."

"Okay, do you have a last name?"

"You Lee."

"Can I call you Lee?"

"Yes."

"Okay, Lee, why do you have my friend Zeke's phone."

"You Lee is stuck in trunk. Phone was in trunk."

"Damn it! Well do you know what trunk you are?"

"No. it is dark, and uh oh."

"Uh oh? Why uh oh?"

"Phone go bye bye." The line went dead. "Damn it! Some dude is stuck in a trunk of a car, which could be our car, with Zeke's phone." Troy pulled into the parking lot of the Happy Happy Chapel. "Let's just hurry and find Zeke so we all can go home."

"What about Alejandro?" Ryan asked.

"Leave him in the car, we'll be in then out."

"We can't leave a baby in the car Troy!" Chad protested. "He'll be fine, I cracked the windows."

* * *

They entered the chapel, "Oh look at these bastards. You come back to see Frankie. Give me a hug." Frankie said as he hugged everyone. "Did you do all the marriage…stuff?" Chad asked. "Yes, last night you, your friends, and another friend that isn't here right now, came and you got married to Taylor. You don't remember? You were so happy."

"Wait, Zeke was here?"

"Yes, yes. Zeke, he was best man." Frankie said as he put a toothpick in his mouth. "So, Frankie let's talk." Troy said as Frankie pulled them to the desk. "Coco puff, got get the stuff." Frankie instructed to his assistant and wife. "Okay, so talk to me, Troy."

"Okay...last night we fucked up. We got drugged with roofies, and can't remember shit."

"Roofies? You got raped?"

"No, we didn't, it was just slipped to us somehow. Anyway, we can't find Zeke and now we know that he was with us at this wedding. What time did Chad and Taylor get married?"

"uhm, I'd say around 2 in the morning."

"Two. Okay…so what's in the box?" Troy asked pointing to the box Frankie's wife set in front of them. "Oh all the stuff you ordered. I got calendars, coffee mug, baseball cap. Oh and album."

"With you and Taylor's pictures on them," Troy said as he looked through the box. "Holy shit! You even got personalized condom packages! Where were these when me and Gabi got married? Maybe I would of actually used condoms." Troy said as he took the box giving it to Ryan. Chad wouldn't speak. "Obviously, Frankie, my buddy Chad here is kind of freaking out about this whole marriage deal. So do you do annulments?"

"Of course, breaks my heart. But I can't do it with just him, I need the chick too."

"Do you have her address?"

* * *

Troy opened the trunk putting the box inside. "I can't deal with this. I say we burn all this shit, and the cop car." Chad said pacing nervously. "Whoa! Burn it? Who the hell are you?"

"I don't know anymore. Apparently I'm a person who marries complete strangers. I'm done with this shit. I hate all this shit. And I hate this mug. I don't even drink coffee!" Chad threw the mug on the ground. "What the duck man!" Ryan said dodging the ceramic shards. "Look, I'm your best friend, I have a wife and kid to look after, I'm all up for secrecy, okay? But I'm not going to burn a fucking cop car? I want to live with my family, not have them visit me every weekend when I'm in the slammer!" Troy said closing the trunk. "Let's just go find this Taylor chick."

They all piled in the car finding Alejandro asleep. Troy put the key in the ignition as a yellow Honda pulled up. Two guys exiting one with a bat. "WHERE IS HE?" The one with the bat yelled as he smashed the window. "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Troy yelled as Alejandro started screaming. "Get out of the car! Right now! I'm gonna beat your ass! WHERE IS HE?" The guy said again. Troy looked at his friends who just sat there scared shitless. "THIS IS BULLSHIT! Look maybe we're looking for the same guy." The man bashed the window again. Almost breaking in.

**A/N: that's the end of the chapter. (:**


	4. A Shy Escort and a Taser

**A/N: new chapter my loves**

* * *

_**Chapter 4: **__A Shy Escort and a Taser_

* * *

_From previous the chapter,_

_Troy opened the trunk putting the box inside. "I can't deal with this. I say we burn all this shit, and the cop car." Chad said pacing nervously. "Whoa! Burn it? Who the hell are you?"_

"_I don't know anymore. Apparently I'm a person who marries complete strangers. I'm done with this shit. I hate all this shit. And I hate this mug. I don't even drink coffee!" Chad threw the mug on the ground. "What the duck man!" Ryan said dodging the ceramic shards. "Look, I'm your best friend, I have a wife and kid to look after, I'm all up for secrecy, okay? But I'm not going to burn a fucking cop car? I want to live with my family, not have them visit me every weekend when I'm in the slammer!" Troy said closing the trunk. "Let's just go find this Taylor chick."_

_They all piled in the car finding Alejandro asleep. Troy put the key in the ignition as a yellow Honda pulled up. Two guys exiting one with a bat. "WHERE IS HE?" The one with the bat yelled as he smashed the window. "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Troy yelled as Alejandro started screaming. "Get out of the car! Right now! I'm gonna beat your ass! WHERE IS HE?" The guy said again. Troy looked at his friends who just sat there scared shitless. "THIS IS BULLSHIT! Look maybe we're looking for the same guy." The man bashed the window again. Almost breaking in. _

"Where the hell is he?" The guy questioned again. "Troy drive away. Do something!" Jason said panicking. "Uhm.." Troy started the car, as the other guy who stood behind the cop car pulled out a gun. "He's got a gun. Troy he has a freakin' gun!" Ryan screamed as he held on to Alejandro. "No shit Ryan! I see that he has a gun." Troy said thinking as Frankie came out of his chapel. "What the hell Dumb and Dumber! Why you start trouble in front of my chapel? I'm trying to run a business!" Troy backed up, running over the guy with the gun's foot. Causing him to fire and shoot Frankie. "OH SHIT! HE SHOT FRANKIE!" Chad screamed. "Fuck this shit." Troy said backing out of the parking lot extremely fast, turning the wheel and going straight, speeding away.

They all let out breaths that they had no idea they were holding. "How the hell did that happen?" Chad asked before his cell phone started to ring. "Who's that? Is it Zeke?" Jason asked looking at Chad. "Its Martha…."

"Oh damn!" Jason exclaimed. "The bitch, there's no getting rid of her." Troy said trying to focus on the road. "Should I answer it?" Troy started to laugh. "I can't believe that you want to know if you should answer the phone for your psycho girlfriend. What does your gut tell you to do?"

"Ignore it."

"Okay then..hey is this the place?"

"I think so, I can see suite 202 from here."

* * *

All fours guys stood in front of the suite door of room 202. Ryan was holding Alejandro. Troy knocked on the door. "OH MY GOODNESS! I've been looking all over for you!" A young African American girl exclaimed, as she reached out towards the baby. "Your mom was going to kill me if she knew I lost you. Was Kevin a good boy for you guys?"

"Uhm…yeah, can we ask you some questions… Miss…?"

"Oh come on Troy, don't act like you don't know me." Troy blinked and didn't say anything. "I'm Taylor, Chad's wife. Wow, you guys must have been really messed up last night to not remember anything." Troy's mouth opened and then closed, he was at a lost for words. "You're Taylor?"

Ryan asked, Jason gave him a look as well as Chad. "You're really pretty."

"You're so sweet, Ryan. Come on in you guys, I have to feed Kevin."

"His name is Kevin…" Ryan whispered to Jason, who patted his shoulder. "Yeah, its okay buddy."

"So, what's up? I thought you were all leaving today. Where's Zeke?" Taylor asked as she put 'Kevin' in a rocker before sitting down on a fancy red chair. All four guys piled on the couch. "That's what we came here for. We can't seem to find Zeke." Troy spoke. He glanced at his friends who all stared at Taylor's chest. He did his best not to look. It would make it too obvious. "Oh, do you remember the last time you've seen him?" She smiled shyly. A shy escort who married a guy she just met… the words _shy _and _escort _didn't seem to go together at all. "No, apparently someone slipped us roofies… we can't remember a lot. So we wanted to know if you remember us saying anything or where we might have dropped Zeke off at.."

"Oh well….not really.. You guys said some pretty messed up things all night. I assumed it was just the shots talk…"

"Freeze!" A short chubby officer said breaking open the door his pistol in hand pointed towards the guys. "This is the worst day ever. And disappointing. Almost as disappointing as the first Twilight movie." Ryan pouted. Troy looked up at the sky. _Why am I in this mess? Was it because I complimented that girl on her rack.? If so, I take it back. _he thought to himself.

* * *

"Okay, you guys will be let go, free of charges, if you do something for me." Officer Delgado smiled. "Sure, but can I make a quick phone call?" Troy asked. "Sure, there's a pay phone over there. Meet me and the rest of your little posse in that room."

"Hello?"

"Babe, I screwed up." Troy frowned. Gabriella sighed. "What happened?"

"We had too much fun, got drugged, Chad's married to a stripper, not to mention that he lost his molar. Ryan is just as weird as ever, and Jase woke up to find out that we all lost Zeke. Oh yeah, we're also in jail."

"You did screw up."

"I need you to talk to Sharpay. Lie and say everything is fine, we just need another day in Vegas to recover from last night's fun."

"Why couldn't you just call her and tell what you told me?"

"Because, I'm scared of her anger issues almost as much as I am afraid of Martha. And… I really wanted to hear my wife's lovely voice telling me that everything will be okay, and that we will find Zeke soon, and be on our way home tomorrow to make it just in time for the wedding."

"Everything will be okay, and you guys will find Zeke soon, and you can be on your way tomorrow just in time to make it to the wedding."

"You're the best, babe."

"I know."

"Well, I got to go. I love you."

"Love you too, oh and Troy?"

"Yes?"

"You'll be living with blue balls and cold showers for the next month. Bye." She hung up before he could say anything.

* * *

"So, you guys are going to help these policeman rookies with… tasing." Officer Delgado said as he stepped back, giving the new officers space to aim. All four guys gulped as each officer fired. The taser's powerful shock hitting different places on the guys. Jason was first. He grabbed a hold of his side. Wincing in pain and falling to the floor. Chad was shot in the neck. Ryan in the face. And Troy in his member. All four guys laid on the floor in a fetal position. "I'll bet you'll never steal a cop car ever again. You're free to go…when the pain subsides." Officer Delgado smiled as he put his hands in Chad's hair, messing up the fro.

**A/N: Took forever to post, but I hope you all still enjoyed. : )**


End file.
